A couple of nights ago I woke up with a stream of thoughts running through and around my mind.
They centered around sons and daughters, ours and yours. The main stream of consciousness was the thoughts we have, either voiced or unactualized as we process the "why's" of how our kids go "bad".
There are typically two responses to the why's, from the fan base:
1) They weren't disciplined enough as a kid!
2) They were disciplined too much as a kid!
Interestingly, there seems to be one of those two thoughts from casual observers in regard to this phenomenon.
To the observer, there are two simultaneous thoughts going on:
I am thankful it's not happening to our kid, with a "you know, if they had just taken that toy away when he was 5, this wouldn't be happening" or "you know, giving them a car at 16 without doing anything spectacular other than chronologically advancing was a big mistake".
The other thought is "My God, I hope and pray my child doesn't do that" and running a close second is "What in the world would we do if that was our child?". Well, that's easy- advanced parenting people would simply purge the behavior with an authoritative declaration "That's not happening in our home" and that would be it.
We quietly impugn our case studies while hoping we never have to deal with it ourselves. The dormant hope, lurking ever near the surface, is this: I hope my sons never chooses that.
In John 9, this is illustrated, to a varying degree, as the disciples posed a question to Jesus about the man born blind. It was asked of Jesus, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"
Friends of ours lost lost their baby when he was stillborn due to the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck. Devastating as it was, all she could think about was God was obviously punishing her for what she had done in the past.
Our first thoughts seem to bounce back and forth on the court of God's divine judgment when adversity manifests. "There must be something that happened to cause this".
Cause and Effect, right?
It is a window into our built in knowledge that points to justice. Albeit, it's a distorted view that was shared by the question posed to Jesus. The Old Testament contains numerous incidents of sin = death. Ground opens up, wars are lost, families destroyed, and crops lost.
Surely it continues?
Back to John 9- Why was the question posed to Jesus about the blind man? Well, they knew OT Scripture, to be sure, and probably were thinking of Exodus 20:5, "You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me.."
Jesus puts that idea to rest. He wanted to make sure people understood it isn't the nature of God to be punitive, rather it is the natural consequence of sin being in the world. In two other passages (Luke 13:2, Luke 13:4) he asks simply, "Do you think they were sinning more than others to experience this bad thing?"In other words, the way in which we are punished or die doesn't reflect the severity of sin. God hasn't decided to punish sin with certain calamities.
"Well, you did this, and as you may or may not know, that means a tower is going to fall on you and your family". In John 9:3, Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him".
The Pharisees, just like us, view the consequences of sinning as retribution from God. Well, we don't really say that; we
think it. Then we go about our business hoping our sin doesn't catch up to our kids.
Near the end of this encounter, the Pharisees still can't get over the fact this man was healed and still had no account for why. Clearly, he had sinned or his parents had sinned...where was the justice? Why is this man seeing? We know he is a sinner!
I don't know if my fellow humans fall into that trap, I just know I've wandered there. We are quick to give ourselves a pat on the back when what we see manifest in our kids is "good". Now, there is a certain humility in this- I'm grateful our sons are are the proverbial "right path". They are "good" young men. Whatever we mean to be "good" varies. Do we mean we approve of their conduct? Do we mean we get favorable reviews from others for their conduct?
There was some intention on our part. Good. Most parents have good intentions. Prayer, yes, but there are lots of parents that have prayed and seen the complete opposite. The grace and mercy of God operates outside of time, but manifests for us in this time-space continuum.
It isn't so simple of an equation or where rules of logic apply. Sure, we reap what we sow, but many times we don't get what we deserve. In the end, we certainly will. Whatever the verdict, it'll be precisely due to the justice of the Divine Judge based solely on the Cross.