You're Doing It Wrong!

Proverbs 14:12 says as much. There are many ways to do something wrong and invariably, most people find those ways while steadfastly maintaining their way is the right way. Now when I write 'most people' I really mean me.

We are five weeks into our season, nine games played and five discipleship meetings with Coach Wooden. Yet one thing seems to be clear, I'm doing it wrong.

Allow me to explain.

Two weeks into our season, our top player and leader was hit in the head with a baseball and spent four days in the hospital. It was a throw from 45 feet but thrown perfectly enough to puncture his ear drum, giving him vertigo and temporary loss of hearing.

Another one of our starters is out for the year with a stress fracture in his vertebrae. Our starting shortstop is on the shelf for 7-10 days as he cannot throw. Another player cannot run due to a diagnosis regarding his leg that I cannot pronounce.

Two Saturday's ago our RF and CF collided on the second to last play of the game and put the RF out for the rest of the weekend tournament.

On Saturday, our starting LHP was trying to execute a bunt and run on a pitch up and in. The ball grazed his bat but fully connected on a spot on his cheekbone. So clean was the contact it left seams on his cheek while nearly closing his eye. Of course, we were playing with only nine as a number of other issues for that day were out of our control.

JD with the traces of the ball on his cheek

 In that same game, our sophomore super utility player stole second and got hit in the shoulder with the ball. Our RF and 2B then nearly took each other out on a shallow fly to right.

So what, you may say, that's all coincidence, Andy! Sure, I can buy that with the understanding sports have an inherent risk and things are bound to happen in the course of a season for which we may have no explanation.

In baseball, the variables are enumerable and very few things are within our control. Really, only my attitude, my response to adversity and my effort are controllable. Everything else is in that area of insanity which makes the game so beautiful in its own twisted way.

The scene in Bull Durham can describe our way (Nuke LaLoosh) and God's way (Crash Davis). God calls for the curve and in our pride, we want to announce our presence with authority, so we throw the fastball to a first pitch, fast ball hitter. The results are predictable. Will I make the adjustment or just say the hitter got lucky?

Could there be another avenue, one I am reluctant to go down simply because it indicts me? In other words, am I doing it wrong? Self deception allows us to continue in our ways. We get so used to our way and methodology because it's what we know. It's comfortable and it doesn't require much creativity, and by God, "it's always worked for me!"

It is in the darkness of their eyes that men get lost - Black Elk

In the book, "Leadership and Self Deception" there is a passage which states, "To the extent we are self deceived, our leadership is undermined at every turn-and not because of others or obstacles. It is because of us". So, when we are deceived we see neither ourselves or others very clearly. In doing what we always do, we undermine our efforts and undermine our relationships.

So because something 'works' it's good, right? To clarify, it isn't our stretching routines, practices or training methods I am calling into account. God is in the details and it seems he is more interested in small things, rather than large things. Luke 16:10. In this case, there is something else at work, something transcendent, i.e. - something God is doing and it may be up to us to catch it, hopefully before ignorance and bliss is set like concrete on this season.

Jeremiah 17:9-10 tells me all I need to know about my heart. The sobering thought today is how many times have I attributed to God's hand what is really my hand?

Well, our coaching staff is trying to figure out what God is trying to say besides, "Stop playing!" and I am in that area of not really knowing but afraid to go further because I would have to stay outside the camp for seven days like Miriam did when she was whining away about what God was doing (Numbers 12:1-16).

In Psalm 91 we are told that if we dwell in the secret place of the most high we shall abide in the shadow of the Almighty. Now, I can say with certainty I have been in and out of the secret place (mostly out) but I can still sense being in his shadow. I cannot explain it other than seeing lots of arrows coming our way but never getting through. There is a peace.

But here is the rub. Am I fooling myself (am I deceived by me) into that peace when I should be diligently taking stock of my life and how my decisions have an effect on others. Well, it is possible to have both going on at the same time. That, in part, is how we work out our salvation with fear and trembling. Philippians 2:11-13.

So, what next? This is the first time I have ever thought, "Am I the cause?". Yes, it is a bit ego-centric but not in the way typically thought when using the term. Rather, it is in the same way Jonah told his shipmates to throw him overboard in order to save the people on the boat.

Of course, my rationale isn't on par with Jonah. I don't think I have that much courage. Yet, another verse comes to mind when thinking on this thing: Proverbs 3:5-6

The tension in wanting my way to work and get credit for it while still wanting it to be God's way is an interesting scenario played out, if not daily, then weekly.

Oh, and my way? I don't want it.

It's Just What We Do...

In his closing remarks in a speech he gave at the Harrow School in 1941, Winston Churchill said:

Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never--in nothing, great or small, large or petty--never give in, except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.

Over the weekend I got the privilege of spending time with our youngest son, Noah. His seventh grade basketball team played in their season ending tournament with area TAPPS JH teams. The Faith team went into the tourney as the number one seed and found themselves on the ropes in their semi-final game against Arlington Grace Prep.

I kept the book, which is usually good for me because it keeps my mouth from opening too much. It's not foolproof, but most everyone knows the best way to keep me from coaching is to give me so much to do during the game that I have little time to say much of anything.

The JH Lions' entered the 4th quarter down by 13 points, 29-16 and had been listless defensively and inept offensively. However, one thing I've learned watching this group compete over the last four years is this: they are relentless.

I'm not suggesting our JH'ers had Grace Prep where they wanted them, but in a span of three minutes they had erased the lead and tied things up at 31 with just over a minute to go. Early in the 4th, I was texting Cory, (who was in Midland with our oldest, Zachariah, as the JV and Varsity played out West.) about how we would probably be going home a bit early due to the result.

The JH Lions started pressing in the 4th and forced several turnovers and converted them into easy buckets, mixed in with a couple of big 3's. The tenacity with which they played those last six minutes was an absolute joy to watch. Not only did I see determination and grit upon the eyes of those young men, I also noticed joy as they whittled the lead down to nothing. The players on the bench rising in a crescendo of cheers, the parents cheering them on with guarded optimism and our two coaches spurring them on during the 15-2 run over a three and half minute span.

I saw joy.

That picture of Noah up top captures the essence of Noah in competition. It also captures the mindset of this team. Every one of the players on the basketball team played on the football team in the fall. The football team finished the season 9-0 and methodically dismantled teams with will, execution and passion.

They just love to compete. They have found joy in giving everything they are capable of giving. There may have been tears after the game if they had lost, but I think they would have also known they played like they had practiced; they played to their potential, perfectly for six glorious minutes.

They have created for themselves a culture where it is acceptable and expected to give their best. It is an anomaly and an anathema to them to see mediocre effort from each other. It is out of place and something doesn't mesh with them if someone isn't on the floor after loose balls, taking charges or getting a bloody nose in practice.

It's just what they do now...in seventh grade. Am I making a big deal about a bunch of JH boys? No, I'm making a big deal about young men learning about determination and exhibiting enough courage to see a task through to the very end. You think that might bear fruit for us and our culture somewhere in the future? Better yet, are the lessons they're learning right now going to help them to meet challenges with confidence and trust that God is indeed working all things out for their good?

This is why I love sports. Sure, there is a downside to all of this if perspective is lost. If we make sports all about the end without having the end in mind, it's pretty futile.

So, I saw joy manifest when the game ended, and yes, there was relief as well. They did what they were supposed to do and they did it in a way that put a stamp on their season.

A recognizable signature. It's just what we do, they think to themselves.

It wasn't a surprise for any parent who has watched this team play. I would say the common reaction was "it was just a matter of time" or "aha, there's the team I know!"

The championship game was anti-climatic. Any hope the other team had to catch this team in the let down phase of joy and excitement was soon put to rest. The JH Lions slowly and systematically pulled away and finished the season with a 35-20 victory. The game was representative of the way they've played since August (football). Together, with passion, skill and joy.

7th Grade District League and Tournament Champions

The Exegesis of Success

Our team has now covered the two cornerstones of John Wooden's Pyramid of Success in our discipleship time on Wednesdays.

Industriousness and Enthusiasm

Wooden defined success as "peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to become the best of which you are capable"

No, not this kind of peace of mind where absence of conflict and competition define peace. I'm talking about a peace of mind which is the best pillow at night. I don't think we can rest easy when we know we haven't given our best. We will always be restless when we haven't worked to our potential.

I find it interesting we can't find rest because we can't find peace. Where can peace be found?
I think Colossians 3:23 and Ecclesiastes 9:10 give us a good picture of where to find peace. Granted, we know that Paul told us about spiritual and mental peace here: Philippians 4:7

I've got to put my heart into what I'm doing. Cory used to tell me early in our marriage, "Don't give me your best and then pull it back. I know when you give me your best, you've got it in you."

I think there are three reasons why people don't give their best:

1. Their best won't be 'good enough' and therefore they will have failed at giving their best and be hesitant to give their best again for fear of their best not being good enough the next time.
2. If they give their best, people will expect it again and the pressure or obligation to be 'on' is too much. Therefore, it is much easier to be 'average' and surprise people every once in awhile.
3. They are not sure where their best is going to lead them. Maybe to greatness or maybe it's a setup to a colossal failure. Note this exchange from an episode of Seinfeld:

GEORGE: What if the pilot gets picked up and it becomes a series?
DANA: That'd be wonderful George, you'll be rich and successful.
GEORGE: Yeah, that's exactly what I'm worried about. God would never let me be successful. He'd kill me first. He'd never let me be happy.
DANA: I thought you didn't believe in God?
GEORGE: I do for the bad things.

The reality is most people are quite content with having low expectations for themselves. The problem is most people define success as a destination, when in fact it has nothing to do with arriving anywhere.

You've heard it's all about the journey? Well, it's true. The vehicle in which you're using along the journey is important. The arrival is important, but how one gets there is more important.

I'm going to use a sports analogy from the world of basketball to illustrate this.
Kids in the elementary grades shoot basketballs with poor form quite often. However, some of the shots do go in the basket and there isn't a kid in the world that would stop and ask, "Did I use the correct fundamentals on that shot?"

No, they will simply be excited the ball went through the hoop. But somebody will be sucking the joy out of that basket and letting the kid know something or somethings were not right in the shot. (Uh, that would be me, thank you)

Of course, the result was positive but the way or process was not fundamentally sound, therefore it should not be repeated. What happens when the young pupil executes perfect fundamentals and the shot doesn't go? Praise it, reinforce it and do it with enthusiasm. I'm not advocating "make everyone feel good about throwing up bricks".

I'm advocating praising your son, daughter, player or spouse when they did the right thing but didn't get the desired result. We are a culture that looks at the bottom line = results.

I am questioning that premise...vigorously. If we look only for results we are going to get what CS Lewis predicted many years ago (and which has, sadly, come to pass in public education) about demanding results without establishing process:

"We make men without chests and expect of them virtue and enterprise. We laugh at honor and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and then bid the geldings to be fruitful."

I cannot ask Zach and Noah to fix the flat if I haven't shown them where to find the jack and the spare tire.
I cannot ask Zach and Noah to be godly men without first living it myself, stumbles and all, and then walking and talking along the road with them.

How are you defining success? Is it process oriented or result oriented?

Regret

The person who has the most regret is the person who cheated themselves, their family, co-workers, friends and teammates along shared paths. Although hardly noticeable, if at all, by others and, perhaps even shrugged off by others as "life" happening, it is a blinding and paralyzing light you are sure others can see exposing you in front of them.

Yet, that light is just for you.

They can't see it...yet. Oh, you'll be found out, in time and God forbid, in a shameful way. In the meantime, regret screams at you in the confines of your own soul, taking up residence as if it belonged there your whole life.

But sin, in any form, chips away at the masterpiece that is you. You cannot live with the man you are not called to be and you cannot live with the man you are now; when who you are now is not in line with God's vision for you.

You can avoid regret by surrendering the areas you try to hide from others and God. Tashard Lewis spoke to his teammates before a game when he played football at Georgia Tech in which he called for everyone to give all they had or don't give anything at all. He wasn't willing to leave anything 'in the dark'.

Giving less than your best creates tension in your mind and conviction in your spirit. The spirit belongs to God and he gives freedom (2 Timothy 1:7) . A life in tension is a life in turmoil. A life in turmoil necessitates having multiple ways to cope and multiple 'faces' to maintain in order to 'keep up appearances'. You begin to wonder what man is really you.

"Am I the cheater of time and effort or am I that man I was when I was giving my best?".

There is an old saying the Postema's are fond of reciting. 

There are two kinds of pain: the pain of discipline and the pain of regret. Which will you choose?

What is easier to live with when all is said and done? The difference is in degree and in duration. C.S. Lewis says this about discipline and temptation:

A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is... A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness. They have lived a sheltered life by always giving in.

What is better for you?

Having fought, resisted and overcome your 'humanness' or simply giving in and doing what you've always done and give it the old "that which I do not want to do, I do and that which I don't want to do, I do" line? Yes, it's a great fall back for Christians, if you're into that sort of thing, living with the pain of regret.

I don't want to give in.
Everything I have or nothing at all.

Going to fight til I can't fight no more; lie down and bleed awhile. Get back up, fight some more.
 

TCU Coaches Clinic

My favorite coaching staff (TCU) held their annual coaching clinic today. This weekend is the THSBCA convention and a few universities across the state try to cash in on the insatiable quest for more knowledge (and food) by the baseball fraternity here in Texas.

Any coach worth his gray hair should continue to grow professionally through these types of gatherings. In attendance were up and coming coaches hurriedly jotting down notes and feeling a bit overwhelmed by  coaches who looked like they knew what they were doing as they confidently walked to each station.

Yet, each coach has in the back of his mind thoughts about what it would be like to coach D1 (or at the proverbial 'next level'), thoughts of comparison (which either brings affirmation or discouragement), thoughts wondering what other coaches think about them (if they think about them at all), and some may think about their accomplishments only they and a handful of players remember.

This morning, Coach Roye and I were trying to remember who beat TCU last year in the College WS. That could be an indictment on a number of things, our memory most of all. Be that as it may, it is all fleeting. We won state in '08 and my ring sits in our computer hutch behind old Journey CD's. Yup, it's that important. Comparison is the thief of joy and there is always someone to whom you can compare to your position in life vocationally/professionally and wonder if you've missed the mark.

Cory asked me tonight, "So, what resonated with you?"

I thought that was a good question (she asks good questions; often thought provoking at the most inopportune times according to my time table. Good none the less!) At any rate, "What resonated with me", I responded, "was Coach Schloss explaining his 'extreme hustle mentality' and that he tells his players, 'If I have to coach your effort and attitude, you are going to be out of this program'".

He's right. We shouldn't have to coach effort and attitude. It's been said that examples aren't taught, they are caught.
It's either a part of who you are or it's not. Your effort and attitude is a by product of the daily choices you have made. We are creatures of habit. Our habits give others a good view of who we are, day in, day out.

So, what do you coach and teach, better yet, how you livin'?

Waiting for Spring...

 People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball.  I'll tell you what I do.  I stare out the window and wait for spring.  ~Rogers Hornsby

When Zach was first starting to play baseball, he would lay out his uniform the night before his games on the weekends. He was meticulous in how he laid it out and how he wore it. The shirt tail had to be in just right with not too much shirt hanging over the belt. The pants needed to be up, but not too high at the waist (because Dad wears them way too high)

He wore his school uniform the same way early in his 'career'. He didn't like anyone messing with his polo once it was tucked into his pants. If the shirt tail worked its way up toward freedom, Zach was not comfortable. He was developing some tendencies at an early age. He still is the first one up on school days and he still gets prepared for the next day by laying out his clothes and bag the night before.

The quote by Hornsby reminds me of the waiting we have to do when looking forward to something.
What are you looking forward to with great hope?
Romans 5:5

CS Lewis on Himself

To Arthur, October 29, 1930, p 942: "My moral history of late has been deplorable. More and more clearly one sees how much of one's philosophy and religion is mere talk: the boldest hope is that concealed somewhere within it there is some seed however small of the real thing."