Regret

The person who has the most regret is the person who cheated themselves, their family, co-workers, friends and teammates along shared paths. Although hardly noticeable, if at all, by others and, perhaps even shrugged off by others as "life" happening, it is a blinding and paralyzing light you are sure others can see exposing you in front of them.

Yet, that light is just for you.

They can't see it...yet. Oh, you'll be found out, in time and God forbid, in a shameful way. In the meantime, regret screams at you in the confines of your own soul, taking up residence as if it belonged there your whole life.

But sin, in any form, chips away at the masterpiece that is you. You cannot live with the man you are not called to be and you cannot live with the man you are now; when who you are now is not in line with God's vision for you.

You can avoid regret by surrendering the areas you try to hide from others and God. Tashard Lewis spoke to his teammates before a game when he played football at Georgia Tech in which he called for everyone to give all they had or don't give anything at all. He wasn't willing to leave anything 'in the dark'.

Giving less than your best creates tension in your mind and conviction in your spirit. The spirit belongs to God and he gives freedom (2 Timothy 1:7) . A life in tension is a life in turmoil. A life in turmoil necessitates having multiple ways to cope and multiple 'faces' to maintain in order to 'keep up appearances'. You begin to wonder what man is really you.

"Am I the cheater of time and effort or am I that man I was when I was giving my best?".

There is an old saying the Postema's are fond of reciting. 

There are two kinds of pain: the pain of discipline and the pain of regret. Which will you choose?

What is easier to live with when all is said and done? The difference is in degree and in duration. C.S. Lewis says this about discipline and temptation:

A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is... A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness. They have lived a sheltered life by always giving in.

What is better for you?

Having fought, resisted and overcome your 'humanness' or simply giving in and doing what you've always done and give it the old "that which I do not want to do, I do and that which I don't want to do, I do" line? Yes, it's a great fall back for Christians, if you're into that sort of thing, living with the pain of regret.

I don't want to give in.
Everything I have or nothing at all.

Going to fight til I can't fight no more; lie down and bleed awhile. Get back up, fight some more.