What to Make of God's Agenda

Phil promised us instability and that's exactly what we got. "Nothing will go as planned" he stated confidently at breakfast several days ago, "But you won't forget it."

I'm certain I won't, for a number of reasons.

The comfort and security I seek is better left for Heaven, where investments are better kept and time is redeemed. We have ideas that serving abroad is somehow more important, more spiritual, and if we aren't careful, we can let ourselves feel plenty puffy about the good we are doing while also wondering how much more money this is going to cost.

I came across two verses on the plane back home that were hits right between the eye. The verses in their context had to do with giving.

The first passage is in Proverbs 11:24-25 and the main part that I highlighted was this: "Whoever brings a blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered". The word enriched is defined as improving or enhancing the quality or value of. There has to come a time when we just give ourselves away without worrying about anything other than the bare essence of Christ's manifest work of grace. Without the empowering act of grace on our behalf, nothing we do is worth more than an nickel. But it comes back to me forgetting, quite often, I'm increasing my value and enhancing the quality of my life when I give it away.

That passage led me via a cross reference to 2 Corinthians 9:6-11 which is simply about not holding back any resource we have. Be cheerful with it all, in order to abound in every good work! If we sow bountifully, we receive bountifully. So much of this trip I focused on what this was costing me because I've now gone off the grid of Christian Education and am without a job currently. I've stepped into the unknown but am almost sure it was time to do so. I'm not employed in a profession I'd always been in and always thought where I'd finish. I'm not so sure.

What is next? Well, does it matter? If I focus on spending time with Jesus, loving and serving people, providing good value, give thanks in every circumstance, and have a great attitude, am I not doing his will? Does it matter what I do?

Well, professionally it always matters to the ego. The ego is insatiable and cannot be tamed. As I sat staring out the hotel window toward the city of Managua, I couldn't help but throw up a sigh and wimpy self pitied prayer as I wondered what in the world I had done with my life! The enemy whispers in those moments, "You've wasted your life and now you're coming to the close. Who knows how much time you have? Look what you've done! You might get 20 more years if you're lucky, but either way, it's winding down, pal."

Wow. I listened to that for a minute and got a little short of breath. It's a daunting thought. Look around, like Peter did and see what happens. Looking down, around, up, or down isn't profitable. Turn your eyes on Jesus, the Psalmist begs of us.

Do you know why?

The enemy is relentless and would like all of us to compare ourselves continually to those in our peer groups whether we know them or not. We are not made to compare and contrast. We will either give ourselves a pat on the back or throw pity parties wondering if God has forgotten us...worse yet, did we miss God somewhere along the road?

I remember sitting in the living room, in the middle of the night, of the foster home Cory and I were running back in 1996, having the very same desperate prayer and thought, "Have I missed You completely?" Those moments are disconcerting and I realize we have all wondered that. However, the sum of those thoughts are not any weightier than the individual thought manifest in each of us and it can be suffocating.

So, turn your eyes upon Jesus and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace. This is not a one time deal, I can assure you. It must be hour by hour or the cords of this life will suck out the enrichment we are to receive by being light and life to others.

Whether it is in a foreign land or to the next door neighbor, plant and water. It will stretch you in any situation. We don't have to wait for the next mission trip.

I'm grateful for God's good blessings on this trip, His providential care, His timing, and his people plowing their ground, in Nicaragua as well as here in DFW. I learned to trust His agenda, which always includes people at different stages in their walk with Him. I learned to trust his timing and trust that it's always "Now" for us being ambassadors.

Comparison is the Thief of Joy and we must diligently guard our hearts from it.