I've been in the Christian schools for over 20 years and I wouldn't trade it for the world; my sons have grown up, developed, matured and been given ample opportunities to put their faith into practice. They've been challenged in athletics, classroom, Bible class and on various ministry outreaches the schools have had over the years.
However, they've not lacked for much. They don't have what other kids (their friends & peers) have: they didn't get a car because they turned 16, they haven't had to choose between two or three vacation destinations and the house they've grown up is modest in size. However, they would recognize their blessings are bountiful in comparison to most of the world.
That is the majority of our kids. Abundant and not lacking for much, i.e.- not hungry.
I grew up with my Mom working numerous jobs, at some points we were dependent upon government help and without reliable transportation. I knew we were poor. My self worth didn't come from material goods, my self worth came because I was a good athlete and I was better than most everyone else when it came to performance. I separated myself through effort and my will to compete, win, give maximum effort.
Why did I hate to lose so much? That isn't a quality that made me more valuable. It isn't even a character trait. We could put passion, diligence, competitive greatness, etc in there, but ultimately, hating to lose doesn't endear me to God.
The question remains, what creates hunger?
Obviously, hunger is manifest as a result of not having that which is needed to satisfy the hunger. So, physical hunger is sated by food. Emotional hunger is sated by relationships which are healthy. Spiritual hunger sated by God.
What about competitive hunger?
In Proverbs 14:12, it is noted all hard work brings a profit. A study of successful people noted the number one thing which brought them success was delayed gratification. The ability to put in the work and wait for the results.
A healthy hunger is satisfied with proper amount of preparation, diligence...and delayed gratification.
Healthy meals take more time to prepare and enjoy. Healthy relationships are cultivated over time. Spiritual growth is marked by perseverance, mixed in with joyous moments of rapture and painful moments in the valley.
Learning to compete is no different than any other discipline, but perspective is the key. Most importantly, John Wooden's definition of success is the primary arbiter of judging the fruit of competition.
Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.Jim Harbaugh shared a fantastic quote on how giving less than our best cheats and demeans the essence of who we are and who God created us to be - best effort givers!
Anything less than a man's best effort cheats himself! Demeans him! Spoils him! Ruins Him! Cheapens Him! - EmersonCompetitive hunger can be grown in a fear of failure, and many athletes thrived on that very thing. However, the freedom and joy of competition can be cultivated in an atmosphere where the fear of failure is secondary to the best effort axiom.
I hated to lose because I felt I was less when I did. Effort was not a part of my vocabulary and certainly wasn't a measuring stick of satisfaction. Many parents are caught in that trap.
Creating hunger is not some artificial attempt at proving how much we "wanted it". Rather competitive hunger is cultivated when there is freedom for failure and the intrinsic reward of great effort is emphasized over the extrinsic reward of winning.
Granted, we do need to want to "win" our share of battles, in all areas of life. But our value in that cannot be found in the result, because any way we get a positive result can be justified. The effort piece will show up in the preparation, the execution, and the result; if that is whole (or a person can be at peace with all three) than the competitive hunger can be satisfied until the next moment of preparation begins.
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